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Zeppelin on the Brain
Sitemap See Also Quantum_Particles_Can_Do_Anything OMG OMG THEY HAVE ZEPPELINS IN THE GAME !!!! ITS SO COOL !!!!!! ''' ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- '''ZEPPELIN ON THE BRAIN ---- WHY does it have to look like a "Zeppelin" ?? BTW "Zeppelin" is a BRAND NAME of a particular manufacturing company in Germany (most of these type of craft WERENT 'Zeppelins'. So its basically a Buzzword (like "Quantum Physics"/ "Particles") to a majority of Players who really just want to 'Shoot and Blow up things'. '' Such half-assed technical nonsense content doesn't bode well for a game allegedly touting/Hyping itself as "exposing Social Ills of another Era". (The F$%^ked up Religion weirdness was another stupid/ignorant/contrived aspect -- if they (the writers) were attempting to portray relevancy to 'American' anything ... THEN ITS DEFINITELY A '''FAIL' ) . . These kind of vehicles are actually called "Lighter-Than-Air Ships" and "Dirigibles" (the real ones not the bastardized quantum floaty shit ones). "First Lady 1.0 was filled with Hydrogen" and did a 'Hindenburg' ''' (story reference) via a Vox attack ?? * if so, thats a reference to what preceding '''REAL Lighter-Than-Air Ships IN COLUMBIA were used earlier had to be technically (except in Fantasyland). If so that "Aerodrome" seen wouldn't have fit a real Airship (this is what happens when you have writers who dont cross reference game story details). Ideas from the Future (stolen via Tears) unfortunately stopped at some of the most ungainly and clumsy aircraft ever built (and before their furthest development just before they were completely superceded). Flash Gordon Futurism (minus the sparkley exhaust) would have been a far advancement on the games contraptions which appear to have been designed by a committee of lobotomized idiots. ---- ---- ---- ^^^ Its not like there werent 1000 good photographs and diagrams to show them what REAL airships are SUPPOSED to Look Like !!! ' ---- Was it all the result of having early ideas shown in Trailers which REQUIRED continuation of an idea that was no longer logical ??? (the Trailers locked-in certain 'images' they couldn't throw out, but often then minimized as being of any importance : ie- interactions with songbird rather than canned cutscenes or Elizabeth's UNIQUE Tears having a much bigger part of the game experience ) '"THEY LOOKED THAT WAY BECAUSE IT WAS WHAT PEOPLE KNEW/UNDERSTOOD AND TRUSTED ???? (Oh really ??? Is that the logic??? Maybe the writers were mistakenly thinking about the 1930s, when Lighter-Than-Air Ships were still giving Heavier-Than-Air-Ships (Airplanes) some serious competition -- when they had actually matured far enough to be useful) ?? (Why didn't the 'Barges' also look like Zeppelins if it was a matter of people being scared of something new ? Zeppelins/Lighter-than-Air ships were well know for their LACK of carrying capacity (when they were improved and actually used for commercial purposes, they were relegated to elite passengers and mail and mostly just PRESTIGE as their reason for existing). Since 'Zeppelins' were an anachronism for 1893, and there (apparently) was this "'Tear' looking into the future" idea to explain all those other things in Columbia, then WHY NOT look to get something better for the floaty vehicle stuff in Columbia ???? * With a 'Quantum BS' floating mechanism you needed no AIRBAG/FLOTATION CELLS any longer * That Big (vestigial) airbag actually makes moving the craft more inefficient and bothersomely complex and impractically oversized/costly and poor/unwieldy aerodynamically * Wings ? Who needs wings if you have "Floaty Shit™" to keep the vehicle in the air (artistic license could have justified something better looking, then) SO these 'Zeppelins' were the transportation used to supply Columbia ??? Unneeded large size does make them a Nice big target for anyone on the ground to shoot at, No ? Ciovert operations is not a term that can be applied to these things. A Tiny little capacity to supply a big city ? Oops. BUT Then the City sustenance was really "Manna" which flowed out of the Great Prophet's Ass ?? Stealing through 'Tears' MIGHT have been a good (interesting) explanation to solve this, and many other things ((But I guess Kenny&Co were more busy perfecting the way the Skyhook weapon tore an NPC's head off ... )) ---- Hell, THIS looked more like A Zeppelin than those bizarre in-game things. ---- Hey, We coulda just had QUANTUMZ TELEPORTATION BOXES in COLUMBIA, and ditched all those pathetic/lame-assed looking transportation things they came up with. (Sorry NOT ENOUGH THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE ENVELOPE KENNYBOY ...) --- Around time of the Columbian Exposition THIS is the image people had (if they ever saw it) of what 'Lighter Than Air Craft were. SO Comstock has again tapped into yet ANOTHER universal genius scientist & engineer to bypass decades of effort to actually be able to build something operational ??? (Just one side-issue : Fantasy - of how that sudden ability to MAKE things that don't exist yet seems to happen in this game a bit too much (as in constantly, and illogically, and worse continuing writers-crutch sewage-spill-over into BaSx ... onto a now CONVENIENT "Great Universal Genius" Suchong. BS. )). ---- So In Summary : The game's Technical Details were shit (to go along similarly with the same kind of poor/fake/PC 'historic' and 'religion' and 'American' elements in creating this hack game presentation). It all was just a poorly done patched together facade to instill some kind of 'nostalgia view' (a key popular element of the 2 previous BioShock games). I really can't judge which element in Infinite BS was more Fantasy than the others -- all of which made it a poor reflection of the previous games, which at least attempted to be Science Fiction. Sequel-itus ... ( an attempt to cheaply Cash In on something previously successful, but most often being a poor/flawed/downright-faulty reflection/regurgitation/copy ). ALL Those High marks from the various game mags : You need to take THAT with a grain of salt when those 'mags' get LOTS of advertising money from Infinite BS's parent game company (possibly explains WHY half the entire budget went to 'Marketing', rather than to better game development). Independent Reviewers (who are NOT required to be commercially biased ass-lickers) had ALOT to say about the real deficiencies of Infinite BS (and its DLC follow-ons). ---- ---- More Clever Contraptions (Artists Concepts): ---- So was the game's 3D asset (at the very top) mostly a dumbed-down/simplified object (it now being just incidental to the plot/player experience ??) drawn so crudely to appease a limited 3D Rendering budget (they have to target players with as 'low end' computer/graphics capacity as possible to be able to maximize the $$$) Were Limitations of the "game engine" (third party software) they chose likewise problematic -- limiting it to an unrealistic Hummel Figurine quality detailed asset ??? Zeppelins gave Airplanes a run for their money in the early days, and so significant public interest in both was prevalent. Strange that this restaurant looks more airworthy than those weird-assed things the game designers came up with. Lakehurst Air Station and a REAL Lighter-Than-Air Ship. See how the landing area is circular to allow the Dirigible to land into the wind (where it had some control) to then be docked at its Mooring Tower. The Infinite BS game designers somehow thought you could park those 'Quantumz' floaty 'Zeppelins' into their dinky dock like a van pulling up next to a building. Clueless. The Problem with big voluminous things is that the wind blows them every which way, constantly. Walking the streets in Columbia in a storm would be bad enough. ((Sad factoid in game is the earlier/first "First Lady" "Zeppelin", being Hydrogen filled , and burning during a Vox Terrorist attack -- SEEMS to wanna link to Player known incidents like Hindenburg Disaster (BTW shouldn't The Prophet have foreseen the risk ??) Also, I though the Vox weren't violent at first ... (a serious need to cross check story there Kenny). Also A hydrogen filled one would be just like a real Dirigible (real BIG Gas Bag required if 'real') and needing a Aerodrome like this one to actually work.'' Having "Lady" Comstock climb a ladder to get into a moored dirigible probably wasn't 'ladylike'. Shouldn't they have had Floaty-Shit™ vehicles from the very first for Columbia (you would think they would thoroughly test it on SMALL things before a botched installation of a floaty city block fell-from-the-sky somewhere inconvenient and the whole project get canceled when the Lawyers got involved and the politicians abandoned the FUBAR fiasco).'' Custer Fluck of Absurdity - apparently the game designers WERE NOT ABLE to break out of their mental trap. They had Zeppelin on the Brain and floated off into Infinite stupidity. Explained elsewhere is why there was no reason anything that flew in Columbia had to look like a Dirigible, and many reasons why they shouldn't. ((In so many infinite parallel universes, it was done right and logical, but unfortunately OURs was not one of those.)) ---- NEED TO ADD THE BRICK ZEPPELIN (here and link from Humor) With all my commentaries about building brick flying cities and the weird impractical Dirigible vehicles (when you have FloatyShit™ to do something far niftier), I see no reason why they couldn't have built the 'zeppelins' out of Brick and Mortar. ---- . . . The Soviets seem to also have had Zeppelin on the Brain. This one is ridiculous because there isn't enough volume of that gas stuff which makes it 'Lighter-than-Air' (a rather strict physical law requirement). Instead all that overly heavy stuff is stuffed inside that nice aerodynamic shape ( shape being the thing the Infinte BS artists/designers never figured out as being the main attribute of EVERY DIRIGIBLE ever designed - even with their FloatyShit™ magic totally alleviating the need for a gasbag component (and keeping it anyway for some reason),and a need for it to have that overall shape to work properly as a traveling air vehicle. ) ---- Unfortunately for the Players, things seen in those Promotional Trailers (like this) would have been a much better game (but then you need to realize they couldn't have delivered it anyway. Too much talk, too little production) This thing looks Pre-Quantumz, with a reasonable looking mechanism --- even though the gasbag part of it is still 12X too small. But then, having realistic 'Zeppelins', they would dwarf much of Columbia, and the gamemakers wanted you to see all those pretty cloud draped vistas.) The stupid thing is : After they could make hunks of land and brick FLOAT via Quantumz, their vehicles STILL retained that gasbag element, when it obviously was then irrelevant. ((That's what happens when you show too much promotional footage and later can no longer discard the images you started out with after you rewrite the game story/plot the third time.)) Also compare the art/coloring on this pix, and compare with ones (top of page) used in the game. The creepy garish toy look came in which matched all the buildings and various other props of the delivered game. Consider that the long-distance vehicles for Infinite BS could have looked MORE like this, retaining the essence of a 'zeppelin' but becoming more modern looking to reflect those 'stolen technologies'. Aerodynamic/streamline like a REAL Zeppelin, not some throwback that was a clunky clumsy mutated mess. If they still wanted the porcelain toy figurine look and those awful optical effects, then gold plate the thing (like those ridiculously huge statues already were). Giant Flying Angels ?? How could they miss that ??? Just another diagram showing what a REAL dirigible/airship is, and its NOT being like that weird crap the game designers thought they were. If you no longer need the gasbag, why constrain yourself to still HAVING the gasbag?? At least in old Sci-Fi in the 30s the 'zeppelin' shaped craft used the entire shape for a hull (evidenced by windows all over), indicating THEY understood it was the streamlined SHAPE advantageous to an aircraft (versus Infinite BS who never got past the old mental limitations and were stuck on the pre-quantum-bullshit promotional images ). Add a little imagination (and research) and Viola, something that doesn't look instantly idiotic. Seriously wasnt part of the story stealing stuff from the future ??? Very sad that they got stuck on that image and had them be so badly done in the game. Real Zepplins are HUGE. And the buildings they are built in and repaired in are even HUGER!!! America built Zeppelins also (NOTE HOW HUGE THE HANGAR IS). As small as the 'zeppelins' were in Infinite BS, their hangars would still have been larger -- IF there were any to be seen. (Realism wasn't the point .... ''Oh then why all the handwringing over social ills ??? '' ) Real Zeppelins (like other flying craft) were streamlined. German WW1 Zeppelin. Zeppelin concepts being applied to Trains (in 30s) Just 20 years later... Doesnt look like a Zeppelin and BIG enuf to have an ARENA BATTLE in !!!! . . . . .